Reflection #39
On Dryness of Spirit
Saint Francis de Sales says that true devotion and the true love of God do not consist in feeling spiritual consolations in prayer and other devout exercises, but in having a resolute will to do and to will nothing but what God wills. This is the one end for which we should apply ourselves to prayer, to Communion, to mortification and to every other thing which is pleasing to God, although we do them without relish and in the midst of a thousand temptations and in weariness of spirit. "With aridity and temptations," says St. Teresa, "God makes trial of those who love Him. Even if the whole life should be passed in dryness, let not the soul leave off prayer; the time will come when all will be abundantly rewarded."
As the masters of the spiritual life recommend, in a time of desolation we ought principally to exercise ourselves in acts of humility and resignation. There is no better time for learning our own helplessness and our misery than when we are dry in prayer, wearied, distracted and disgusted, without any sensible fervor, and even without any apparent desires of making progress in divine love. At such times let the soul say: "Lord, have mercy upon me; behold how powerless I am to make even a good act!" Besides, we must resign ourselves and say: "O my God, is it Thy will to keep me thus in darkness, thus in affliction? May Thy holy will be ever done. I desire not to be consoled; it is enough for me to remain here, solely to give Thee pleasure." And thus we ought to persevere in our prayer during the appointed time.
The greatest pain, however, which a soul given to prayer suffers is not so much dryness, as a darkness in which it finds itself stripped of all good will, and tempted against Faith and against Hope. Sometimes, in addition, it experiences violent attacks of temptations and such distrust that it is in grievous fear of having lost even the grace of God; and it seems to it, as if on account of its sins, God has already driven it away from Him and had abandoned it, so that in this state, the soul looks upon itself as if hated by God; and therefore, at such times even solitude torments it, and mental prayer seems to it a kind of hell. Then must it take courage, and it must know that these fears of having yielded to temptation or to despair are indeed fears and the torment of the soul, but not voluntary acts and therefore are free from sin. At such a time a person really resists temptation with his will, though on account of the darkness which bewilders him, he is not able distinctly to perceive it. And this is proved by experience, for if afterwards he were to be tempted to commit knowingly a simple venial sin, his soul, which loves God, would rather accept death a thousand times.
On this account, we must not trouble ourselves at such times to attain a certainty that we are in the grace of God and that there was no sin. You then want to know and to be sure that God loves you, but at this time God does not choose to let you know it. He wills that you should only strive to humble yourself and trust in His Goodness and resign yourself to His Will. You want to see, and God does mot will that you should see. For the rest, St. Francis de Sales says that the resolution which you have (at least in your will) to love God and not to give Him deliberately the least displeasure is an assurance that you are in the grace of God. Abandon yourself, therefore, at such times into the arms of the Divine Mercy; protest to God that you desire nothing but Him and His Will, and fear not. Oh, how dear to Almighty God are these acts of confidence and resignation made in the midst of this terrible darkness!
For forty-one years St. Jane Frances de Chantal suffered these interior pains, accompanied by horrible temptations and by fears that she was in a state of sin and was abandoned by God. So great was her anguish that she used to say that the thought of death was the only thing which at this time gave her relief. She said: "Sometimes it seems to me that my patience is exhausted and that I am on the point of giving up everything and of abandoning myself to perdition." For the last eight or nine years of her life, her temptations, instead of diminishing, became more terrible, so that whether she was praying or working, her interior martyrdom was such as to excite compassion in everyone who was intimate with her. It seemed to her sometimes that God drove her from Him, so that to relieve herself, she turned her thoughts away from God. But not finding the relief she sought, she turned again to the contemplation of God, even though He seemed angry with her. In meditations, in Communions and in other devout exercises, she experienced nothing but weariness and anguish. She seemed to herself to be like a sick person overwhelmed with diseases, incapable of turning herself to another side; dumb, so as not to be able to explain her sufferings; and blind, so that she could see no way of escaping from the depths of her misery. She seemed to have lost divine love, and Hope, and Faith; for the rest, she kept her eyes fixed upon God, reposing in the arms of the Divine Will. In a word, St. Francis de sales used to say of her that her blessed soul was like a deaf musician, who sang most admirably, but had no pleasure in his voice, because he could not hear it. The soul, therefore, which finds itself tried with dryness must not lose courage, however much it may feel overwhelmed by darkness, but must trust in the Blood of Jesus Christ and resign itself to the Divine Will and say:
"O Jesus, my Hope, and the only Love of my soul, I deserve not consolations; give them to those who have always loved Thee; I have deserved Hell and to be there forever, abandoned by Thee without hope of ever being able to love Thee. But no, my Savior, I accept every suffering; chastise me as much as Thou wilt, but deprive me not of the power of loving Thee. Take from me everything, but not Thyself. Miserable as I am, I love Thee more than myself, and I give myself wholly to Thee; I resolve to live no more for myself. Give me strength to be faithful to Thee.
"O holy Virgin, Hope of Sinners, I place my confidence in thy intercession; make me love my God, for He has created and has redeemed me."
[Excepted from 'Devout Reflections and Meditations' by St. Alphonsus Liguori] (Public domain)
As the masters of the spiritual life recommend, in a time of desolation we ought principally to exercise ourselves in acts of humility and resignation. There is no better time for learning our own helplessness and our misery than when we are dry in prayer, wearied, distracted and disgusted, without any sensible fervor, and even without any apparent desires of making progress in divine love. At such times let the soul say: "Lord, have mercy upon me; behold how powerless I am to make even a good act!" Besides, we must resign ourselves and say: "O my God, is it Thy will to keep me thus in darkness, thus in affliction? May Thy holy will be ever done. I desire not to be consoled; it is enough for me to remain here, solely to give Thee pleasure." And thus we ought to persevere in our prayer during the appointed time.
The greatest pain, however, which a soul given to prayer suffers is not so much dryness, as a darkness in which it finds itself stripped of all good will, and tempted against Faith and against Hope. Sometimes, in addition, it experiences violent attacks of temptations and such distrust that it is in grievous fear of having lost even the grace of God; and it seems to it, as if on account of its sins, God has already driven it away from Him and had abandoned it, so that in this state, the soul looks upon itself as if hated by God; and therefore, at such times even solitude torments it, and mental prayer seems to it a kind of hell. Then must it take courage, and it must know that these fears of having yielded to temptation or to despair are indeed fears and the torment of the soul, but not voluntary acts and therefore are free from sin. At such a time a person really resists temptation with his will, though on account of the darkness which bewilders him, he is not able distinctly to perceive it. And this is proved by experience, for if afterwards he were to be tempted to commit knowingly a simple venial sin, his soul, which loves God, would rather accept death a thousand times.
On this account, we must not trouble ourselves at such times to attain a certainty that we are in the grace of God and that there was no sin. You then want to know and to be sure that God loves you, but at this time God does not choose to let you know it. He wills that you should only strive to humble yourself and trust in His Goodness and resign yourself to His Will. You want to see, and God does mot will that you should see. For the rest, St. Francis de Sales says that the resolution which you have (at least in your will) to love God and not to give Him deliberately the least displeasure is an assurance that you are in the grace of God. Abandon yourself, therefore, at such times into the arms of the Divine Mercy; protest to God that you desire nothing but Him and His Will, and fear not. Oh, how dear to Almighty God are these acts of confidence and resignation made in the midst of this terrible darkness!
For forty-one years St. Jane Frances de Chantal suffered these interior pains, accompanied by horrible temptations and by fears that she was in a state of sin and was abandoned by God. So great was her anguish that she used to say that the thought of death was the only thing which at this time gave her relief. She said: "Sometimes it seems to me that my patience is exhausted and that I am on the point of giving up everything and of abandoning myself to perdition." For the last eight or nine years of her life, her temptations, instead of diminishing, became more terrible, so that whether she was praying or working, her interior martyrdom was such as to excite compassion in everyone who was intimate with her. It seemed to her sometimes that God drove her from Him, so that to relieve herself, she turned her thoughts away from God. But not finding the relief she sought, she turned again to the contemplation of God, even though He seemed angry with her. In meditations, in Communions and in other devout exercises, she experienced nothing but weariness and anguish. She seemed to herself to be like a sick person overwhelmed with diseases, incapable of turning herself to another side; dumb, so as not to be able to explain her sufferings; and blind, so that she could see no way of escaping from the depths of her misery. She seemed to have lost divine love, and Hope, and Faith; for the rest, she kept her eyes fixed upon God, reposing in the arms of the Divine Will. In a word, St. Francis de sales used to say of her that her blessed soul was like a deaf musician, who sang most admirably, but had no pleasure in his voice, because he could not hear it. The soul, therefore, which finds itself tried with dryness must not lose courage, however much it may feel overwhelmed by darkness, but must trust in the Blood of Jesus Christ and resign itself to the Divine Will and say:
"O Jesus, my Hope, and the only Love of my soul, I deserve not consolations; give them to those who have always loved Thee; I have deserved Hell and to be there forever, abandoned by Thee without hope of ever being able to love Thee. But no, my Savior, I accept every suffering; chastise me as much as Thou wilt, but deprive me not of the power of loving Thee. Take from me everything, but not Thyself. Miserable as I am, I love Thee more than myself, and I give myself wholly to Thee; I resolve to live no more for myself. Give me strength to be faithful to Thee.
"O holy Virgin, Hope of Sinners, I place my confidence in thy intercession; make me love my God, for He has created and has redeemed me."
[Excepted from 'Devout Reflections and Meditations' by St. Alphonsus Liguori] (Public domain)
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