I Come First, Child
November 10, 1993 - Funeral at St. Lawrence Before Mass
R. I was at church to play the organ at a family funeral. It was a new organ for me and I had not yet practiced two songs. He told me to come to Him and forget the music. I was ashamed that I wanted to put the music before Him. He said, "When I call, you come."
Jesus speaks: Come to Me! Stop it, I tell you. Don't run amok. I want to be alone with you and you are to come and be with Me. I love you with such intensity. Sit awhile with Me and let Me fill your soul. In this silence your heart is at unrest. You are busy in silence. What a sad heart! I am here and you are busy. I want you to put Me first, to put aside your music. This is your time with Me. "Well," you say, "Who cares? The Lord calls me now. For You, Lord, I would drop everything and come and run." That is the love I bid you to share with Me! My calling you, your responding without the slightest hesitation. Do you know now what I want? I want your love committed to Me first, last and always. When I call you, come, not in a little while, but right away and bid My call! I can make the heavens fall from the sky if I choose. Would you make Him Who has all the power wait on you when He calls? I am calling you now to life with Me. I fill your troubled soul and you see things from My perspective and not your own. I have all the power. What do you have to worry for? I can make it work or not work. I must be first. You must harken to My call and surrender everything to Me. Surrender this work to Me and let Me do it. Do you trust, child, or do you think you are in control? I want your time now. You are telling Me that I am first. Do not hold on to anything when I call. I come and you must come when I beckon you. You have brought Me much joy because you came. I love you so. I want so much to have time alone in front of the tabernacle with you. You crave this time now but you tell yourself you must be focused on something else.
I come first, child-first, last and always. Drop your cares and run to Me when I call thee. Oh little one, make My heart happy with you. Surrender totally to Me. Trust and let Me play the Mass. You needn't fret and fume. I am God and I dwell in you. You move about but I operate you when you surrender. I want this surrender. Let go of the last songs and see if I do them. Be with Me now, little one, in My house, the house of your youth. Many memories are here for you. Feel your past and come to Me and share your heart.
I love you. Oh, I love you. We are alone here. Come in Communion with Me. Let all go and be with Me!
Your Savior, Jesus, the Son of God.
R. Dear Jesus, Your presence surrounds me. I am filled by Your glorious light. The earth does not know Your power. Every minute, every day is fleeting in comparison to eternity. Our hearts are Yours to possess. Possess my soul, oh, my Lord, that I may know You more and more. That it is no longer I who operate, but You Who operate in me. Unworthy as I am, honored am I that You dwell in me and use me for Your work! I am lowly but You have chosen to use me and I am raised to heights in Your service. Oh Lord, Thou art so good, so loving, so-what words exist that can explain You? To say words is fruitless. There are none to explain Your might. There is recognition and some knowing of You. All that You teach us, but in this earthly form how can we ever converse about You. Words do not exist to talk about You. Our hearts ache for love of You, but they cannot feel Your true love and Your might. But the knowing-just knowing a little-keeps us fixed on You. You are indeed the true treasure, the one magnificent, beautiful Lord, Savior, Lover! All that is worthy of You is beyond me but I must be in awe of You from that which I have experienced already.
Praise You. Exalt You. Honor You. I love You, the one, true magnificent God, at Whose name each knee must bend in reverence of Thee. Holy, holy is Thy Name. Hosanna from the highest roof tops. Amid the blare of trumpets, praise His Holy Name. Hosanna in the highest. Alleluia, Alleluia.
That is You. That is what You created-beauty and truth. Sunsets that are gleaming, oceans that are wide and unbounded, beauty in all that surrounds us in natural things. Need we ever wonder of Your majesty? It is beyond comprehension. It can only be created by Your might and power! Precious Savior, You, in all Your might, love us in all our flaws and sin. That is a miracle. That is beyond my understanding!
I praise You for being You-the You I know and the parts I cannot comprehend. Praise You, the one, true God!
And He sent angels from heaven to shower them with protection and love. They sang songs of praise to God and filled our world and we were lifted up for a moment to a new realm of life. A glimpse of the life to come and our hearts scarce could speak, for nothing can explain this One.
Praise You, praise You, Jesus, all day long, from the rising of the sun to the moonlit night. Praise to the one, true God in all His majesty and might. Praise Him for this proclamation.
Holy, Holy is His Name. Alleluia.