Knowing God Is Bittersweet
November 10, 1993 - After Mass
Jesus speaks: It is not you who have chosen Me, but I Who have chosen you to do My work. Open your gates wide and let Me permeate your heart! You pant for the love only I can give. Your heart is knowing and warm in your chest. Oh, the bittersweetness of knowing Me a little, but not enough! To have such a treasure, but only a glimpse. To see the golden reward but be unable to embrace it! Oh, little child, I have so much in store for you. My ways are true. I am indeed here with you with all my love. I love you so. You scarce can speak. I can give you this someday-all you crave with an aching heart. Keep yourself close to My heart. I love you so, little one. (I smell roses, but when I use my nose they don't get stronger.)
R. Dear Jesus, I scarce can speak in Your presence. You are truly here in my heart and filling my empty soul. In my sin I cried out and You heard and loved me just as I am. You love me the same when I fall and when I am walking tall. You look at me with love and You just love me. You don't measure Your love by my actions. You love me in spite of my actions and You are so forgiving of my sick ways. You look with tender eyes and see me with such love. I do not deserve all that You give me. But I am thankful for everything You give me. My life is found in my soul and You tend to its feeding. I fall and You pick me up as a child and kiss my wounds and love me just the same. Oh Jesus, that I could only love You more, to know how You want me to be and be able to follow through. Oh, Jesus, You are so beautiful. Thank You. Praise You. Love You with awe. I adore You, I adore You! Jesus, my Lord, my God, my all! How can I love Thee as I ought?
I sat here in front of the tabernacle and He filled me with His presence. The longer I sat, the more I was filled. He filled me to the brim. I thought of Him and His love and His beautiful face and I was filled in my heart with warmth. Oh, such love He gives to us! Oh, Jesus, Oh, Jesus! This is real. This is the life You give. It is Your life inside. Spoon out all of me and fill me with only You. Make me selfless and surrendering to all Your ways, surrendering to Your abounding love. Come, come, Lord Jesus, fill me. Fill me to the brim and over. Let Your love flow from me to others. Overflow in my soul to spill on those I touch, especially my children. Oh, Jesus, let me touch others for You. Use me to touch their hearts and souls. Not as I do it, but You Who possess me, You Who operate my heart and my soul. They are Yours, Lord. I surrender.
R. (I was looking at the crucifix at St. Gertrude's:)
This is My beloved Son in Whom I am well pleased. I came that You might have life, not as the world gives it, but as only I can give it. Alleluia.