MARY, OUR MOTHER

CHAPTER V: TWO HEARTS OF WIT & WISDOM

Once upon a time, there was this gracious lady of sorrow, dressed all in black--she was in mourning--. With tears on cheek she pleaded to her pastor:
"Father, I want you to funeralize my DOG."
After getting over his shook-upness, he spoke in his neat south-american spanish accent brogue:
"Woman, you wish for me to have a funeral for a dog? Please, go away from me woman, for I do not provoke! How can I have a funeral for a dog--the people will say, 'The Catholic Church has gone to the dogs.' "
"But Father," she insisted, "This was a good hound-dog, he even went to church with me, though he stayed outside and waited for me patiently." The priest just shook his head.
"Well then, Father," she dried her tears, making room for more to come, "Can I take him to the protestant Minister and have him funeralized there?"
"Sure, si, si, go right ahead, that is good," answered the padre much relieved.
"One more thing, Father, Is it o.k. to give him some money?" she wanted to know.
"Why sure, he has to eat too."
"Is it alright to give him $500.--?"
"Madre Mia--woman, go away from me woman--for I do not provoke! Why you not tell me thees ees a Catholic dog!"

(Reprinted by Deacon John G. with permission)