| March 7, 2011 Saint Perpetua and Saint FelicityDear Family of Mary!"Dear children! My motherly heart suffers tremendously as I look at my children who persistently put what is human before what is of God, at my children who, despite everything that surrounds them and despite all the signs that are sent to them, think that they can walk without my Son. They cannot! They are walking to eternal perdition. That is why I am gathering you, who are ready to open your heart to me, you who are ready to be apostles of my love, to help me; so that by living God's love you may be an example to those who do not know it. May fasting and prayer give you strength in that, and I bless you with the motherly blessing in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Thank you." (March 2, 2011)At the heart of Our Lady's plan to save souls is her desire that we become apostles of her love. She wants us to help her "by living God's love" so that we will be "an example for those who do not know it." We might ask what it means to live God's love? Certainly it means to love those around us, to serve them freely with great humility. Yes, that is living God's love. But I think there is another aspect to it. I think we have to live God's love for us, his desire that we become exactly the persons He created us to be, that we accept the persons we are, because God has made us the way we are. It is living out of the awareness of God's providential care. In the Magnificat for March 2011, there is a beautiful excerpt from the writings of Fr. Jacque Bunel, O.C.D. He reflects on doing God's will. And he writes, "Finally, I want to leave with you this profound prayer, to be recited time and again: 'O God, I wish to be fully what I am.' There is no prayer more beautiful, more pleasing or more powerful in God's eye than this simple prayer. It is the fiat of the Father. In a special way, it supplements the 'Our Father,' which Christ taught. 'O God, I wish to be just what I am for as long as you so will; I am aware of an evil strain deep within me. That strain spawns egotism, infidelity and hostility, leading to moodiness, laziness, and self-indulgence. I wish to be fully what I am. For I know that you are all powerful and could change me in an instant. Yet, at the same time, you are infinitely loving and offer me whatever is for my best. I have total trust in you. You are all powerful and you love me!' Amen." (Magnificat, March 2011, p. 92-93)If I am not wrong, it appears that Fr. Bunel is saying that we must accept God's love, in other words, live God's love, in the form of accepting our creation and our circumstances as creatures at this very moment. To live God's love is to live as we are right now as a gift from God. Let me illustrate.
Recently I watched a rerun of a television show called Monk. On this show the main character, Monk, is a detective who has a mental disorder. He is obsessive/compulsive. The disorder is intensified since the violent death of his wife, Trudy. Monk is a great detective because he is so attentive to details, one of the traits of OCD. He doesn't miss a thing. But his disorder makes him very difficult to work with, and he needs a nurse to accompany him and help him negotiate daily life. On one episode, Monk becomes so despondent because of his anxiety and compulsiveness, that his doctor puts him on medication to relieve his symptoms. The medication does indeed make life easier for Monk, but he loses touch with reality, and pays no attention to details. He begins not to care about anything. He feels happy, but he is no longer a contributing member of the detective team. His friends are at a loss without him. They finally force him to throw the pills away, and he returns to his obsessive/compulsive self. He solves the case and joins his community of detectives again, though he is plunged back into his disorder and pain. Though he is suffering again, he is glad to be connected to society and to his community again.My point? Monk is a "broken" man. He has mental weaknesses that are a great cross for him and those who work with him. But in his weakness he also has certain gifts that are a strength. He is important to his larger community, even with his brokenness. He learns in this episode to say, "O God, I wish to be fully what I am." He accepts the cross of OCD and anxiety, and lives to the fullest who he is. And he is a gift. I think living God's love includes accepting who we are in our brokenness and weakness, and saying 'yes' to the Father for that brokenness and weakness. It is then that we depend completely on God for our life and our meaning. Our 'yes' can free God up to use us in a beautiful way for the world around us. No, we are not perfect. But we are made perfectly available to the Lord so that He can work through us. Depending on God's love in our weakness can be the best witness we can give to those around us who are also broken and weak but haven't discovered God's love in it yet. Another beautiful thing about being weak and not perfect! We need each other. In the Monk series, Monk needs his nurse/assistant to function in the world. He can't do normal daily tasks without her. He is dependent. But it turns out, on the show, that she discovers that helping him is fulfilling for her as well. She sees her contribution as helping Monk to solve cases. They find that they are interdependent. God loves it when we are interdependent. We need to live in interdependence, not independence. When lived out in respect and love, interdependence is beautiful! The body of Christ is interdependent. The foot cannot be the hand, they eye cannot be the ear. We all have our job. Living God's love is a beautiful thing. As we live as God's creatures, saying yes to Him in our littleness and dependence, we provide a witness to the world that God is real, than He loves us and that if He love us, He loves them too!In Jesus and Mary! Cathy Nolan
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