Saturday, February 20, 2010

TEN Steps to Unhappiness by Fr. Wade+

Dear Intercessor,
Peace be with you!
Thank you for your prayers.
How may I serve you?

Ten Steps to Unhappiness

I came across a blog post I had written back in 2005. I thought I’d share the “Ten Steps of UnHappiness” with you.
You know, a little bit of unhappiness can go a long way!

- Fr. Wade+

TEN Steps to Unhappiness

Why in the world do people only settle for mild depression and unhappiness? Right now you can experience the feeling of total devastation. Yes, you can be completely ‘bummed out’ simply by following the ‘Ten Steps to UnHappiness.’ This is a sure-fire method and has been time tested by both members of the scientific community and the government.

Warning: Be sure to follow each step. Reversing any of the steps might actually produce ‘happy thoughts’ And who wants happy thoughts in the year 2010*?

With all of the instant pleasure programs and amusement parks, the Internet, Social Clubs, Bars, Nightclubs, Sports Complexes and Parks;
with all of the support groups and churches...
with all the hospitals and medical facilities and counselors and teachers...
with all of the inspirational speakers, devotional programs, retreat centers...
with all of the loyal friends and family members...
with all of the trustworthy business people
with all of the honest attorneys and politicians...
with all of the pets to love and take care of...
with all of the methods of communication...
with all of the love...

It’s no wonder why the divorce rate is almost non-existent.
It’s no wonder why the Family Court dockets are empty.
Everyone is so happy and loving and unselfish.

However, if, for some reason, just need a good dose of unhappiness to ‘balance out your day’ here are some tips from Neil Eskelin:

1. Make little things bother you. Don’t just let them, make them.
2. Lose your perspective on things and keep it lost: don’t put first things first.
3. Find yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything.
4. Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection.
5. Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness.
6. Don’t trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest.
7. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives.
8. Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery.
9. Take personally everything that happens to you.
10. Don’t give yourself whole-heartedly to anyone or anything.

Now, you may have an allergic reaction to any one of the above.
But remember, practice, practice, practice!
Soon they will become ‘second nature’ to you.
And what powerful habits they are!

Please let us know that they work for you.
By sending in your testimonial, you can inspire others to be just as unhappy!

TRUTH DISCLAIMER: The above ten steps are pretty much, just down-right opposite of the Message of Jesus Christ. Maybe you would call it anti-Christ. With respect to Neil Eskelin, these ten steps attributed to him were for the purpose of how many ‘steps’ we may practice without realizing it. Our recommendation is to do the exact opposite of each step, beginning with step number 10: EVERY DAY make it your practice to GIVEyourself whole-heartedly to Jesus Christ, become a disciple. Read the Story by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Find out who Jesus really is, what he did, why he did it, how he lived, what he taught and what His plan is for you.

*originally 2005

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