"Ecce Homo!" ("Behold the Man!") Image via Wikipedia
I Want To Know Him More
January 5, 1994 8:30 a.m.
After Mass
R. After Communion this morning, I felt pain that I could not become closer to and know Him more. It is such an intense longing to know My Lord. It is painful.
At 6:40 a.m. I had felt very close to Him. I had reached the realm of losing myself in Him. My chest felt His love very close, all the way until I received Communion. Then I felt such sadness not to be able to experience Him deeper.
He is so beautiful and so ready to be in union with us. We must constantly be about deepening this union with Him. He creates a flutter in my heart, but also an ache not to experience Him with the intensity I crave. It is the magnetism of my Lord that powers my life and bids me to spend as much time as possible in prayer with Him.
I feel such sadness in my soul because I want so much more. This craving is an appetite in each of our souls and it increases as we know Him more and more. This is the pain of those in purgatory who know the Lord but cannot behold Him. It is indeed suffering to know Him a little, but not more. I have an ache in my heart for a more intense union with Him. I just want more of Him.
It is a bittersweet feeling of love and pain to know and love Him, but not be able to experience Him fully.
Jesus: Wanting to see and hear Me is to demand the ways of the body to communicate. I want to communicate in your heart. Your soul tends to the way of the Lord in your heart, in your spirit. Come to Me and feel Me in your soul. Feel the bittersweetness in the heart. It is I who deal with you interiorly. I need not words. I need not your eyes to keep looking, for this is to delay your communion with Me. Get lost in Me in your soul. It is a feeling you cannot describe in words. It is a feeling you only know in your soul. There are different feelings you experience in the soul, as you know in your heart.
Not all of your feelings associated with Me are the same. Sometimes intense longing, sometimes intensity to feel My presence, sometimes warmth, sometimes insights into My intense love, sometimes insights into other things: My might, My glory, My closeness, My sufferings--all feelings in the soul. I do not communicate to you in words. Oh, such things, all in your heart, are all but glimpses of your God. Be so tuned in to your heart and so aware in these periods of silence with Me. What is the ache in your heart? Love? Or is it longing? You will never completely experience Me on earth. Sometimes more ache, sometimes more love. Come and sit with Me and let Me enter into your heart. It is there that you know Me. You know and experience Me in the heart.
Such insights are given to you after Communion in front of the tabernacle. Wordy, you say, and such repetition? But who listens? You sit here, day after day, in an empty church, alone with Me, as others give lip service to My cry for their love. I sit a prisoner in the tabernacle out of love for you. I beg you to come and bring yourselves to Me. I cannot force you to come. You will never know Me if you do not spend time in silence with Me. I make Myself known in little glimpses in front of the tabernacle.
To those who are sick or elderly I come at their request, but, for you who are able, I wait, as a prisoner of love, for your time with Me. To know Me is to be with Me. Time alone in silence. I pour out to you such gifts and wisdom that no human mind can ever comprehend. Ask not what you get. Your aching heart tells you of My intense love! To know Me a little, but never enough. I communicate to you in the yearnings in your chest.
Become aware of your feelings with Me. How do you feel when you hug your lover? Is it words? No, it is a feeling in your heart. To love Me is to experience Me in your heart. So simple, you say? Yes, simple, but profound. I am the ardent love who waits for you to come. I beg for you to be with Me. Do you say no to busy yourself with such nonsense when your God waits for you? Oh, little ones, come and concentrate all your efforts on improving your union with Me. Do you say no to your God or do you come to Him Who loves you like no other? My ways I make known to you. You come and I fill you with such gifts as you do not comprehend.
R. I am filled with emotion to know this is truly the one, true God who sits here in this empty church with me. Jesus, Who walked the earth and died a brutal death for love of us, sits and waits for us here.
He gave His all for us. He opened His arms and died this brutal death for love of us and we do not have time for Him. It saddens my heart that no one is here to share His love, that He Who loved us so much that He came to earth and gave His life for us sits in an empty church.
This is not a myth. This is real. He is truly present in this tabernacle, this day. Let me, Lord, and all my brothers, know Your true presence here. Oh, God, I love You so.
I experience His True Presence. I am saddened here by so many things. He speaks in my emotions here. I am so saddened by this empty church and the empty hearts of my brothers. He loved everyone to His death. I am saddened by a desire to know Him more and more and not be able to know. But I am filled by His intense love and His goodness. Shout His love from the housetops and stand on the roofs. Declare the day of the Lord is near! Your hearts need the love He has to give! Come in flocks to His altar and worship Him in His might and thank Him for the gifts He has given to you. He is so good and worthy of such honor and praise. We are His chosen ones.
Jesus: Do not stay away, but flock here. Beat a way to the door. You tarry too much. You miss the whole reason for why you live. You have chosen such incidental things and passed up the golden treasures in the fields.
I am the Alpha. I am the Omega. I am your all. I am truly present and I wait for you. You tarry too much and you are losing precious time. Beat a path to My door and spend your days and nights with Me for I am your God, worthy of all honor and all praise, sayeth the Lord. Alleluia, Alleluia.
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